2008.07.27 23:27

일요일 오후, 스물넷의 기억, 매미

남편이 오늘 아침 건넨 책의 서두를 몇줄 읽자마자, '바로 이거야!'를 되뇌었다. 우선, 책 표지에서 뚝뚝 묻어나오는 '나는 삶에 지쳐 떠났던 거에요'의 뉘앙스가 요즘의 내 허무주의를 치유(?)할 수 있을 것 같았고, 어차피 혼자 보내야 하는 오늘 오후 시간을 보내기 좋은 놀거리였으니 반가웠다.

3시쯤부터 거실에 앉아 읽다가, 문득 어둡다는 생각이 들어 베란다에 의자를 놓고 나가 앉았다.  베란다에 나와 앉아 있으니, 10년 전 여름 연희동의 한 가게 앞 간이의자에 앉아 새우깡에 맥주를 먹던 장면이 떠오른다.  웬지 모른다.  스물넷이라는 한없이 아름다운 나이, 그때 했던 고민들이 휙하고 스쳐 지나간다.

난 급작스레 미국으로 떠나시게 된 부모님과 떨어져 연희동에서 하숙 비슷한 것을 하고 있었고, 지역적으로 가깝다는 이유만으로 당시 연대에 다니던 초등학교 남자 동창생 두명과 꽤 자주 어울렸었다.  그날도 집에 있던 나를 그 둘이 불러내 동네 사람들만 아는 한 고깃집에서 저녁을 먹고, 구멍가게 앞에 앉아 맥주캔을 기울이다가, 까만 하늘을 올려다 보다가, 마시고, 올려다보고, 마시고, 올려다보고를 반복했었다.  무슨 얘기를 했는지는 전혀 기억이 나지 않는다.  셋 다 이렇다 하게 할 일 없는 한량이었을 거다.

스물넷에도, 뭘해도 좋지는 않았을텐데, 그 순간은 참 좋았다는 기억이 난다.  그와 비슷한 상황을 만들어 보려고 해도 잘 되지 않는다.

아무튼 이런 생각 저런 생각을 하며 책을 읽다가  저자의 문구들에 백배공감하고 있던 순간, 문득 머리를 들었는데, 베란다 방충망 바깥쪽에 매미 한마리!

사용자 삽입 이미지

사용자 삽입 이미지

녀석은 사진을 찍은 후에도 한참을 저렇게 꼼짝않고 매달려 있었다.

ㅎㅎ 일상 속의 초현실주의!!

Trackback 0 Comment 3
  1. Sweetpee 2008.08.05 01:55 신고 address edit & del reply

    외려 일상속의 실존주의 같소. 올 여름은 유난히 매미가 많은 듯. 상대적으로 매달려 울 나무들은 부족하고, 방충망 그물이 그나마 힘들이지 않고 넉넉하게 매달리기가 적당하지 않겠소. 지극히 실존적으로 보이오.

  2. Janicetbt 2014.04.26 12:28 신고 address edit & del reply

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